I don't know what the hell is up.  The last couple days all I can think about is the past.  Today I walked 22km's for my training... the whole time thinking back.... specifically on those certain delicious people from the past.  I feel like there are things I need to say to so many people.  Shit I wish I'd never done... shit I probably should have....

What is it with being in your 30's and feeling all 12 step-ish about closure with the past.

I know that you are waiting for me
wondering when I'm finally going to be ready.
Every day I want to live right, but choices gang up on me
adding up
the every days
when I didn't do things right
be the right person
make the right decisions
and I'm starting to think about how you refuse to guarantee that we are going to be here tomorrow

this is the problem with getting older
every regret from today

counts.

Breakfast:

Apple
Biscotti
Large coffee with brown sugar and 5% cream

Lunch:
Salad with shredded chicken and balsamic dressing
watermelon
pudding
coffee

Dinner:
Homemade hamburger
salad
crystal light iced tea

Evening Snack:
Cherries
1/4 piece of cheesecake

Water intake:
2.5 litres or more

Exercise:
6.6km's on 15 degree incline--> 80 mins

Go Me...  

also got my bike out of the shed for the season... better late than never, and have tooled around the neighborhood the last few evenings.  Very nice.

Feel like it's time to do some thinking about the world.

Alright... so minor hiatus, but I have returned. 

Very much missed this little spot in the world that's for me.

Excited to announce that it's December 21st at 10pm and I've only just got my x-mas tree decorated (well, let's be honest,my children did it, but DH put it up and I got on the tinsel and garland). 

All my elf tasks are done as well... now if only I could actually take my scheduled days off this week but too much to do at work. 

It's nice to be back!

 "IT'S NATURAL TO FIND SOLACE IN INERTIA, BECAUSE REQUIRING NOTHING OF YOURSELF ISN'T AS SCARY AS INSTIGATING CHANGE"

Dr. Phil

You know.... back before he turned his show into the new Maury....  he had some decent things to say. 

Still alive, just plugging away at assignments and hanging in there. Making some serious decisions about school, next year, and my future while I'm at it.

On a new kick of firing frozen/fresh fruits with orange juice/water into blender and greedily indulging. ... no shit, it's better than coffee... perks you up right away.

My body's a mess b/c skipped prescription for a month and now back in business.... All of march till now (and especially including now) has been utterly emotional haywire....

But I have juice!

Being really disciplined about taking care of the BASIC crucial things on my routines (dishes/kitchen, floors, laundry, clothes for next day, back packs and lunches ready) but not stressing about the smaller things. Bonus is the house is staying reasonable even while I spend all/most of my time on school. One less thing to stress about.

Walking the dog every day and feel like I've come back to myself. I can't believe how out of shape and ucky one's muscles get after a hiatus.

DH quit coffee and I'm not far behind (still having some, just not what I used to be at)... water is an incredible resource and my body is happy with me instead of headachey and jittery.

Things are hectic, but managed.
I can do this.

forgot to add to that list:

Do my income taxes

Yippee! nasty job done... in one hour no less!

Well...

Today is my birthday... though we celebrated it yesterday.

Between now and April 15th I have:

3 4-hour rehearsals and 2 2.5-hour shows for this theatre thing that I'm working with ****EDIT**** I put the kibosh on this as it was a priority for someone else, not me... and I don't need the stress of that extra commitment.
4 Term papers
2 response papers ****1 down!
1 thought letter
1 major seminar
1 medium creative writing task
1 major creative writing project
1 entire day prep for launch of journal
1 major critical journal
3 final exams (one of which is very frightening)


Oh my god.